Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Exposing Idolatry*

As a dutiful Christian, I feel it is my sacred responsibility to call out and condemn the new Creation Museum for blatant and hell-worthy idolatry. As any True Believer will see from even a cursory glance through the website, corruption and evil abound in this Showcase of Sin. Here are just a few examples.

What's in a name? First of all, look at the what this place is called: "Creation Museum" Let's take this name apart and see what evil it reveals.
  • Creation - the dictionary lists no less than eight different definitions for this suspiciously slippery word, with "the original bringing into existence of the universe by God" ranking a shameful number four. Among the others are, "the act of producing or causing to exist; the act of creating; engendering," "something that is or has been created," and "a specially designed dress, hat, or other article of women's clothing."

  • Museum - the dictionary defines this word as "a building or place where works of art, scientific specimens, or other objects of permanent value are kept and displayed." It goes on to note that the word comes from the Latin and Greek words for a "place sacred to the Muses, building devoted to learning or the arts." Nothing wrong with that, right?

WRONG! Think about this for a moment, if you will: what other objects of permanent value are kept and put on display, so that regular people can come to see them whenever they want and feel justified in their faith? THAT'S RIGHT, IDOLS. This new building is nothing more than a new temple for the worship of "created things" (dinosaur animatronics and plastic-wrapped sugary treats the least harmless among them)! Need more proof? Check out the "Grand Circle" entryway to the museum, where a huge idol of the world, complete with golden continents, welcomes a hapless public into the arms of debased reveling. If this museum were really about worshipping God, wouldn't there be a nice, big golden statue of Him out front?

Plus, look at where the word "museum" comes from! "A place sacred to the Muses"... and who were these "Muses," exactly? Why, they were lascivious Greek whore-'goddesses', of course! And it gets worse! Not only is a "museum" a place dedicated to evil heathen gods, but the Muses were Greek goddesses of art and learning! That's right! ART--just another word for the flashy idols created by the hands of man--and LEARNING, the lustful and hateful acquisition of KNOWLEDGE. Like every good Christian, I don't need "knowledge" to support my faith--in fact, I detest knowledge because it undermines and subverts faith. After all, IF I KNOW SOMETHING IS TRUE, I DON'T NEED TO HAVE FAITH IN IT. Even the Bible tells us so: Eve, that degraded bitch of a wife and mother, brings sin into the world by eating from the tree of KNOWLEDGE of good and evil! The Creation Museum even features the TREE OF KNOWLEDGE as one of its exhibits!

Need I go on? As one Christian to another, I warn you: Do not bring your children to this museum! In fact, it's probably best if you keep your children away from all museums, universities and libraries. If they hang around such places too long, they might get the idea that it's okay to think and ask questions as long as they stay safely within the bounds of the "right answers". Pretty soon, they won't be satisfied with only the right answers--they'll want to know what the WRONG ANSWERS are, too, and why OTHER PEOPLE think DIFFERENTLY than they do. How long do you think your "just because, God made everything and He made them wrong" explanation will satisfy them? I'd even go so far as to say real Christians shouldn't teach children to read--you can just set the Bible up on a table in your living room and kneel before it to pray each evening as a family (try painting it a pretty gold color to grab the kids' attention!)

The most important thing to remember is that Satan is a master of disguise. Sometimes even the most "cool" and fun things can be TRULY EVIL. One minute, your children are playing innocently in the "Just for Kids" section of the Creation Museum, and the next they're on the slippery slope that leads to the evils of knowledge and the rejection of faith, not to mention a sense of humor and those crappy handicrafts "God's Eye" dream-catchers.

Remember the 6 C's & V : Christ, Conformity, Complacency, Complicity, Control, Constipation, and Vindication

* This post is a parody. It is not meant to be taken as a literal condemnation of "idolatry" in Christianity or any other religion. It is satirical and ironic, intentionally taking certain arguments to ridiculous extremes in order to better elucidate some of their contradictions and inconsistencies.


  1. Tut, tut! What bosh! Why,it is purely owing to the enlightened and rigorous scientific work and courageous activism of the founders of this museum that legions of loving dinosaur herders can at last bring their adorable charges out into the light of day, free from all the evil, nasty Darwinists (opponents of God, the Bible, and the American Way) who would otherwise petrify the sweet lit-uh... enormous darlings, and embed them into rock strata as "evidence" of their hateful theories!

    *pausing to catch my breath and grin*

    If you're not yet a reader of Anne Johnson's The Gods are Bored, read her two part celebration of "dinosaur husbandry" here and here. (Be prepared to chuckle.)

  2. So I wonder what the cross and rituals of Christianity would be considered.
    Every religion on the face of the earth break the first and second commandment. Christianity is engulfed in Idolatry. The cross refers to war, one path crossing the other. The lower entities are behind every single religion.
    People go to church and bow to the cross which an image is hanging upon it. Christians worship the sun god (lower entity) during Christmas and the fertility goddess for easter. Much worse they just going to a museum.

  3. Clearly, (You did know this was satire, right? I was trying to be funny, but my friends usually tell me I shouldn't ;)

    Actually, I think the main idea I was driving at is that "idolatry" is more a form of ignorance than anything else. Among the definitions of the word are references to "blind adoration or devotion" and objects or images that are "mere semblance, visible but lacking substance," or "false conceptions"... In this sense, the thoughtful and theologically substantial use of symbols such as the cross is not idolatry, since most Christians recognize these things as symbols. Likewise, the "idolatry" that Christianity accuses other religions of practicing is based on the a priori assumption that the ideas/deities/etc. that these religions' symbols represent are false. A more tolerant Christian, or anyone willing to take another religion's theology at face value, can accept that the use of god/dess statues, images and objects of natural forces and energies, etc. are not actually "idols," either. They are, like the cross, symbols of Spirit.

    But what does that imply about extremist/fundamentalist Christians who insist on taking the Bible literally and representing mythical tales as scientific/historical fact? In this sense, they are promoting ignorance, distorting the use of symbols and dismissing a thoughtful or theological approach to a complex text written by fallible human beings. In their fevered attempt to shut down all possibility of doubt, they end up raising the Bible itself as an idol, to be worshipped and followed blindly.

    Art and knowledge--hopefully the true core of any good museum--are antidotes to "idolatry." They encourage doubt and questioning, as well as developing the symbolic/metaphorical capacity of the human mind. But this Creation Museum presents neither art, nor knowledge... It parades shoddy and biased 'scholarship' around in the gaudy clothes of modern entertainment technology. The funny thing is, for all its rejection of modern advancements in science and philosophy, it is actually very modern in its use of technology and multimedia, and very postmodern in its insistence that there are no "facts," only differing meta-narratives within which we interpret our experiences. That's the catch about modern Christian fundamentalism--it is born out of the very modernity it fears and rejects.

    And for that reason, it is self-defeating.

    I'm just waiting for the implosion. ;)

  4. "I'm just waiting for the implosion. ;)"

    You ain't the only one! I mean, come on, it's the 21st century, here! By now, Fundamentalism should be treatable with a simple prescription drug regimen.

  5. Lol, that was fun :)

    I personally think all creationists should be forced to explain where the room for poo was on Noah's Ark...

  6. Yvonne, The sad thing is, they have a section of the museum devoted to doing just that--giving elaborate explanations for things like how Noah fed all the animals and was able to survive on the boat for forty days.... I say "sad" because, in some ways, there's a ton of creative and even ingenious problem-solving going on there (reminds me of the guy who self-designed and built a car that you could drive non-stop, including ways to switch drivers, cook, use the bathroom and refill gas, all while still moving). The creationists' approach in applying these solutions to reality, however, are rather backwards--instead of looking honestly at history and asking what actually happened based on evidence, they claim to know the truth already and instead spend their time inventing ways that it could have happened. They confuse the fundamental fact of reality that just because it could have happened, doesn't mean it did.

    Just imagine if they put half that brain-power into overcoming actual, contemporary problems and obstacles (disease, poverty, war...), instead of wasting all their energy and creativity inventing solutions for an implausible history.

    That's what makes me sad.

  7. I agree that this museum is used as a source for deception. Genesis does not tell the whole story. The copyists manipulated it to get mankind to think a certain way. The only concept that people don't understand about this world is that it is under the rule of the lower entities and every single religion is under their control. The Almighty Divine wants a one on one relationship without anything in between. The world perceives praying to stone walls and wooded objects as holy. People are bent on having to be labeled being this or that. Maybe people should just be themselves and be willing to go out of their way for the stranger. The Almighty does not want anything in between. No wood or stone or religion. The symbol's of religion represent the lower entities that are receiving the worship which gives them energy and control over the members which they use fear, guilt and shame.
    Christianity is utterly blood guilty, completely drowning in it.
    Christianity will never swim out of it.

  8. Clearly,

    Whoa there... slow down. I don't think anyone can worship something or someone they don't intend to worship. Worship is, after all, an intentional action. If a person utilizes a sacred object (or for that matter, a theological system) in order to worship and interact with the Divine, I take them at their word that this is what they are doing. I am certainly in no position to judge another person's relationship to the sacred. It may be a bit hasty to declare that certain forms of worship or spiritual practice are inherently directed at "lower entities" (indeed, some religions deny the very notion of a spiritual hierarchy that such a statement implies).

    That said, there are religious systems that aspire to a kind of purity of relationship. Judaism and Islam both avoid depiction or portrayal of a God figure (Islam goes so far as to reject visual representations of Mohammed, as well, and a great deal of sacred Muslim art is geometric and abstract in design for this very reason; meanwhile, Judaism insists on the unpronounceable name of God, YHVH, that comes from the Hebrew language, which has no vowels, and Jews render this idea into English often by referring to God as "G-d").

    Again, though, I think it's important to be respectful and understanding of other people's experiences of and relationship with the Divine, however they conceive of it. A "pure" one-on-one connection with God is a nice idea, but it is practically impossible... by which I mean, it is basically impractical. We are not purely spiritual beings, we do not experience the world in purely spiritual terms--our experiences are, on a fundamental level, both physical and particular. Language has enabled us to think in abstractions, but we still live in the concrete, in the specific. To deny that authentic spiritual experience can take place in an experiential, individual form (i.e. anything less than a "purely" abstract spiritual form) is to deny the possibility for a "living spirituality." It's like a religion of suicide, since you'd have to be dead and incorporeal to really get the "good stuff." Even Theravada Buddhism, which comes closest to the idea you're talking about, incorporates the idea of "mindfulness," that is, being fully present to the here-now of mundane existence, which is a form of acknowledging and embracing the material, experiential world, even if the ultimate goal is to transcend it. Even then, one idea central to Buddhism is that, upon reaching nirvana, you suddenly become fully aware that enlightenment is not an escape from samsara (the cycle of life, death and rebirth), but a recognition that nirvana is within samsara, within the here-now, and is one-and-the-same.

    Read the tag line of this blog again, please. I may mock Christianity and its extremists sometimes, but I do still consider myself a Christian, and I recognize that a great deal of its theology is fruitful and a path into the sacred Mysteries. I certainly invite you to keep reading and commenting, but in the future I would appreciate it if you tone down your anti-Christian sentiment. I can make fun of my ugly-step-child of a church... because she's family and I love her, anyway. ;)

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  10. Hi Ali, I'm wondering, what would a statue of God actually look like? And wouldn't you just sweep the poo from the ark overboard?
    Mucho amor, Kaetie